siblings

look at this little guy sitting calmly behind the grown ups. he is comfortable that no one will back up and step on him, he is not in a rush to eat, the big kids let him eat first.  the big kids, of course, are his siblings.  over the years we have had kids come and go in our family.  in addition to our own four children, my late husband and i had two children that were not our own but  lived with us long enough to be counted as siblings.  now there are my partner's two children and a daughter in law added to the progeny.   

i have a theory about large families and siblings.  brothers and sisters are many things to each other, enemies, protectors, tormentors, scolds, sources of envy and objects of pride.  i read somewhere that our siblings are truly our only life long partners, that in some ways our relationships never change, we are just brothers and sisters, no more and no less.   

my youngest graduated from high school this week and i nod my head to his siblings for the love and guidance they have given him.  when their father died he was only nine years old, far too young to experience such an upheaval.  i know that families can be blown to bits by such a trauma, or the family can fall into a hole and only climb out by standing on each other's shoulders, youngest first, and then pulling the last one out as a team.  the protective nurturing required to weather a storm leaves a lasting closeness that is ultimately weatherproof.  

do not for one second get me wrong, please, these kids fought, and still do fight.  when all is said and done though, i believe that the fighting is just another part of learning how to have a relationship and you may as well learn some of those lessons from those people that unconditionally love you, your brothers and sisters.  when the dust settles, it's the same old gang.  

there is nothing, absolutely nothing, in this world that gives me more pleasure than seeing how much my children actually like each other.  how proud they are of each other, how supportive, how forgiving, how critical and even how harsh they can be when the need arises.  

i have been weepy all week as i look at my son and see him calmly lying behind a group of grown up siblings, just like the young calf in the photo, full of confidence, never awkward, not easily embarrassed, just resting because soon he will stand up and walk away from the herd.  it makes me happy and sad.

Comments

[robin bird]

what wise theories you live by when it comes to large families and siblings and tragedy. i salute your mix and match family, all you have weathered and all you have yet to share. happy graduation...this coming in september as i read about moving into the residence at dalhousie university. life moves fast does it not?
r

[Toni]

Such a beautifully written post. Your photo is such a lovely metaphor for your words.